Archive for category sarcasm

Urbandictionary, yeah..

生词解释
 
ass
 
(_!_) = Normal Ass
(__!__) = Big Ass
(!) = Tight Ass
(_?_) = Dumb Ass
(_E=MC2_) = Smart Ass
(_$_) = Rich Ass
(_x_) = Kiss My Ass
(_X_) = Get Off My Ass
 
 
breast
 
1) The softest, tastiest, most tender cut of chicken.
2) The softest, tastiest, most tender part on a woman.
3) Where milk comes from.
Those breasts are making my mouth water!
 
 
tits
 
Women’s secret source of power over men. Having the right tits often results in social and economic gain.
Proof of the existence of god.
 
The breasts of a male or female, can also be called:

APPLES
BALCONY
BALLOONS
BANGERS
BAZONGAS
BAZOOMS
BEAN BAGS
BIG BROWN EYES
BON-BONS
BOOBIES
BOOBS
BOTTLES
BOULDERS
BULLETS
BUMPERS
BUSTERS
BUTTERBAGS
CANTELOUPES
GAZONGAS
GLANDS
GLOBES
GRAPEFRUITS
GUAVAS
HANDFUL
HAND-WARMERS
HEADERS
HEADUGHTS
HILLS
HONKERS
HOOTERS
HOWITZERS
JABOOS
JIBS
JUGS
JUMBOS
KAZONGAS
KNOBS
KNOCKERS
LACTOIDS
LOAVES
LOBLOLLIES
LOVE BUBBLES
LOVE MUFFINS
LULUS
LUNGS
MAMMETS
MAMS
MANGOES
MEATBALLS
MEAT LOAVES
MELONS
MILK CANS
MILK SHOP
MOUNDS
MOUNT OF ULIES
MOUNTAINS
MUFFINS
MULLIGANS
MURPHIES
NANCIES
NATURE’S FONTS
NIBLETS
NINNIES
NIPPERS
NODULES
NOOGIES
NUBBIES
NUTS
ORANGES
ORBS
OTTOMANS
PAIR
PALOOKAS
PAPAYAS
PAPS
PEACHES
PEAKS
PEARS
PECTS
PEEPERS
PILLOWS
PIPS
POKERS
PONTOONS
POTATOES
PUMPKINS
PUMPS
RIB CUSHIONS
ROUNDIES
SANDBAGS
SCONES
SCOOPS
SET
SHAKERS
SHIMMIES
SKIN SACKS
SNUGGLE PUPS
SPHERES
SPUDS
STACKS
STUFFING
SWEATER MEAT
SWEET ROLLS
SWINGERS
TAMALES
TETONS
TIDBITS
TITS
TITTERS
TI=IES
TOMATOES
TOOTERS
TORPEDOES
TWANGERS
TWIN PEAKS
TWOFERS
UMLAUTS
UPPER DECK
WALDOS
WARHEADS
WARTS
WATERMELONS
WHOPPERS
WOBBLERS
WONGAS
YABBOS
YAMS
ZEPPELINS

 
 
SHIT
 
1. One of the most popular swear/cuss/curse words/profanities

2. another word Feces. Poop. Dookie. Scheisse. Poo Poo. Brownies.

The Shit List:

The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there’s no shit in the bowl.

The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there’s no shit on the toilet paper.

The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don’t ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you’ve finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.

The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit
Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The Corn Shit
No explanation necessary.

The Lincoln Log Shit
The kind of shit that’s so enormous you’re afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

The Nororius Drinker Shit
The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It’s most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the "Power Dump". That’s the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

The Liquid Shit
That’s the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

The Mexican Food Shit
A class all on its own.

The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

The Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

The Guinness Book Of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

The Aftershock Shit
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.

The "Honeymoon’s Over" Shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

The Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

The Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.

The Ranger
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

The Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

The Peek-A-Boo Shit
Now you see it, now you don’t. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.

The Bombshell
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.

The Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position – usually harmless.

The Olympic Shit
This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker’s Shit.

The Back-To-Nature Shit
This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can’t shit.

Premeditated Shit
Laxative induced. Doesn’t count.

Shitzopherenia
Fear of shitting – can be fatal!

Energizer Vs. Duracell Shit
Also known as a "Still Going" shit.

The Power Dump Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you’re done.

The Liquid Plumber Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.)

The Spinal Tap Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you’d swear it’s got to be coming out sideways.

The "I Think I’m Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The "I’m Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

The "I Think I’m Turning Into A Bunny" Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit
Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump". Of course you don’t warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

The "I Just Know There’s A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it’s going to smear all over the place.

 
 
FUCK
 
1. The universally recognized "F word"
2. N. Implying complete and utter confusion
3. N. a really stupid person
4. V. To procreate
5. adj. Can be used to modify any word for more passion
6. Int. Expresses disgust
7. Int. Expresses complete suprise and joy
8. adv. Can be used to make a command more urgent
1. I do not accept the "F word" as your name
2. What in the fuck?
3. You stupid fuck!
4. I sugest we go fuck in your mothers bed while eating crackers and petting a cat name mittens!
5. This fucking guy was so fucking weird. He asked me if I was fucking insane.
6. Aw, FUCK!!
7. Holy fuck! You guys rock!
8. Just fucking jump before I fucking kick you in the balls!

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1500亿啊。。。

 
一年150亿
 
国家现在缺钱,拿 "和绅" 下手了
 
大家继续努力
 

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格物,致知,正心,诚意,修身,齐家,治国,平天下

穷则独善其身,达则兼济天下
 
恩,没钱做光棍,有钱泡遍天下妞
 
盖众川合流,务俗以成其大;土石并砌,务以实其坚。是故大智若愚焉耳
 
恩,难得糊涂
 
哥们,有人的地方就有事情,操出一片自己的天空

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Symbian说, look at the market, WinMo说, i have many many users, Android说, my phone is cool, you see, the street view works with compass, Iphone说, I am unique, I have fans, BB啥也没说…

 
 

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最近心情很烦躁。。。

没办法,25岁青春骚动期钟摆性震颤烦躁,惹到各位大哥大姐,别往心里去啊

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哥们,记得,散德行要带套儿

 

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最近比较紧张…

还有一年就25了,就要成为奔3一族。。。
 
晚上2点多回家,碰见路上一哥们喝多了躺在马路中间不动,我看了看还有气,就打110,等了一会儿警察叔叔来了,就把哥们拽走了,我心想我哪辈子喝酒能喝成那个鸡巴样,我也知足了,可是这辈子喝酒从来没多过,只是吐过几回,不过头脑一直很清醒,老妈说我从娘胎里面出来的时候,就是睁着大眼睛到处看,打了屁股几下才开始哭,hence,本人有在特殊环境下,保持清醒的头脑思考能力,与生俱来的。
 
晚上做了个15分钟的梦,现在刚爬起来,梦里又碰见那个在真实生活中从来没碰见的女孩,boombastic. 我刚要搭讪,周公一下跳了出来,说,小子,时间这东西就是用来浪费的,什么"today is gift, tomorrow is mystery" 都是扯淡,你周围太多扯淡的事情了,要具有透过现象看本质的能力哦。 然后周公就卷着我的梦姑一溜烟跑了。
 
草,真tmd郁闷,继续dota.

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The king is dead, Long live the king.

 

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Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

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Hello, I am a PC..

 
 

 

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